Tuesday, 10 May 2016

The Fellowship Of His Suffering


"that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death," (Phi 3:10)
I feel so drawn by my Lord and I gravitate towards his beauty. But as I proceed there seems to be this heaviness, where does it come from? It keep slowing me down until I can't move anymore. It is my flesh, and I could hear my Lord saying "die here or go no further with me". The fear of death grip me and I try to run but his love pulled me back. His love tightened it clutch over me and brought me to the cross. I must die! That reality is unshakable, so I let go of the struggle and in submission I ask him to do what ever he pleases with me. Oh! The suffering of the cross, just nailed there and wasting away. I am losing myself, I am being drained, being brought to utter emptiness.
Paul calls it "the fellowship of his suffering" and indeed it is, for I feel like I am right there with him on the cross, partaking in his suffering. All the while laying here at the alter of sacrifice, allowing this fire burn me, how can I bear this. Then my Lord came to comfort me... it was like Paul explained, "Just as we have a share in Christ's many sufferings, so also through Christ we share in God's great comfort" (2Cor 1:5). He comforted me by taking my eyes off the suffering, I was made to look upon His beautiful face. He reminded me of the throne of glory that lies beyond the cross and the temple of his sweet presence that is just after the alter of sacrifice. So I looked beyond the pain and suffering of the cross and I saw a living hope. It gave me strength, now I could "endure the cross and despise the shame" (Heb 12:2) just like he did. Yes, indeed this is a fellowship.

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