The New Covenant is all about intimate relationship. God wants you to chase after him because of how much you love him. Not because your guilt is killing you. Not because you need to make it in life. Not because you have some prayer requests that needs to be answered, or whatever other reason it may be. I am not saying all other reasons are bad, but this is how God wants it to be. Let me tell you a secret, this is how He had designed it.
"the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force." (Matt 11:12).
There are different motivation for violence and war. Some fight for glory, some fight for pride and honour, some fight for love, some fight for money, some fight as an obligation, and some fight cause they have no other choice. But God has designed the violence or battle for the kingdom to be won only by those who's motivation is love. It is good to desire glory and power, it is good to desire freedom from sin, it is good to want to be liberated from poverty, and so on. But these desires alone will not take you far enough.
I am telling you a secret that will save you a lot of trouble. The battle is designed to be won by those who's motivation is love. I am giving you the cheat code of the whole game, just apply this and you will emerge so victorious. It is good to want to be holy. That desire is very noble and admirable, but that's not the key that wins this battle — love is. The Lord is in search for a bride, a true lover. And he has designed the test to ensure that only the one who is a true lover will win.
If you are to win this battle you must build your motivation on love. I know you desire to be right with your Creator, I know guilt is killing you, in fact you can't take it anymore. I know you feel pursuing God is the right thing to do, and God bless your righteous heart for desiring to do the right thing. But the history of man have proven that the desire to do the right thing is not enough. Right from the moment man ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil he has been trying to do good but look at how low we have descended.
As admirable as that desire may be, it won't take you far. I know a lot of people that started my course with the desire to do the right thing, they wanted to get it right with God, but many of them have quit now. Yes, you come to a point of frustration and you realize you can't move on anymore. You need to build your motivation on love. It's okay to have other motivations that are righteous, but build more on love. You can teach your heart to love, if you can't then God would not have commanded;
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'' (Mark 12:30).
Only those who have obeyed this commandment can attain the manifestation of the fullness of God. In fact, the fuller you obey this commandment, the more your manifestation of God's fullness will be. You can nurture that love till it consume you completely, filling the whole of your heart and soul, possessing your mind and evoking all your strength. See, I have taken years to study this thing very closely, I have observed its design, I have experimented over and over again, and I am telling you only love can penetrate this thing and bring you into God's fullness. And thank God we can grow in love.
If you are wise you will focus all your strength on this. You will spend all your day nurturing love for God in your heart. If only you can do this, you will be shocked how fast you'll grow.